My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
areolas are like halos for boobs.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
