I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
