Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
