ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ugly people sure do ruin things
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
