At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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