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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  it's 1 pm.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.

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