Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
