at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
