I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
