Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
