FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
