I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
