why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
