i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
