sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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