If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
