Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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