My liver just broke up with me...
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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