He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
