You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
