We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
