Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
