My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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