my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize