i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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