Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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