i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
