im six kinds of drunk right now
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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