I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
These tits shall not be calmed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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