you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
