I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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