I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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