At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
