Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize