Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
