Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
