Christians are straight up FREAKS
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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