someone owes me an orgasm
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So vagazzling was a success
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
