Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize