therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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