My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
