I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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