it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize