I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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