im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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