What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
