Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
