Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize