ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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