Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
