i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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