you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I had to cum in my sink.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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