I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
