In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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