is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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