Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
