I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
