Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
