k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize