official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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