the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
