the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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