I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
