What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
