I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
