I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
