i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
