I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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