I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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