These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
