Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
