...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this just has baby written all over it
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You need Xanax blowdarts
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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