If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
