Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
