I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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