Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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