it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I had to cum in my sink.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
