This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
