Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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