I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
