At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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